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diMpLeLiCi0uS
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Name: rIcHeLlE
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 2/1/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: ~*~sLefFiN, nAppIn, dRiNkIn bObA, wAtcHin mY sOaPs...~*~
Expertise: *~* bEiN cOnFuSed *~*
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  DiMpLeLiCi0uS
Member Since:
8/5/2003
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| welps rite now i really wanna take this time to vent a lot of bad feelins dat ive been keepin in... cz now i really cant take it ne mo so imma jus vent it out...
so i feel like people dat r bitches get watever they want n those who r not jus gets taken fo granted n get shieted on all da time... n im really fuckin sick n tired of it...
i mean look at my brother, his nice n smart rite...but he also got a temper... n wenever he doesnt get his way he doesnt care wat he say or do just as long as he gets its way... so is it ok to disrespect ur parents to da fullest, yelling n cussin them out n slammin doors... is dat ok?? shud dat shiet b tolerated... to me wenever my brother does dis wid my parents i get really upset cz regardless if ur upset or not no child has da rite to disrespect der parents like dat, i jus hate it how he talks to em its jus wrong...but tha thing is regardless the disrespect my parents stil dont care theyre bein disrespected, they still let my bro do watever he wants to do n after the fite da next day they pretend nuttin happen...OMG wat da fuck is dat.... on top of dat supposedly my bro walked home from after work cz we didnt hav another car to pik him up cz my dads car is broken... my parents felt bad dat he had to walk home...so??? its not like its mad far...plus da way he cussed my parents da nite befo he shud b walkin home... but now my parent sed they gonna buy him a car n all dis stuff..... WTF... wen i was his age i had to walk as far as he did to get to tha bus stop n ride da bus to get to work... i had to ride tha bus to skewl...
so like my mom has dis mentally dat im not allowed to borrow clothes from my siblings but its ok for them to jus take my clothes wear them n not eben let me kno they r borrowin my clothes...wat da hell... i borrowed julies dress yesterday for my xmas party at work cz i didnt hav a blk dress i mean i asked julie n she sed yea... my mom saw tha dress in my room n got mad at me fo borrowin... god, but heres nicole... who always fo some odd reason always happen to end up wearin my clothes bz supposedly da top ended up on her dresser so she figured she can wear it eben tho she knos its not hers n dont eben ask me if she can wear it...n wenever i ask her y she wearin my clothes she gets all defensive... but my parents dont care....
it jus really sux u kno... cz it jus seems like my parents praise my other siblings who yells n cuss em out all da time dan tha one who do respect them u kno... since i was lil never really ask my parents fo ne thing cz i understood der was 4 of us kids... i saved my lunch money durin my middle n high skewl years wen i couldnt get a job yet so i can buy things i want n not depend on my parent...once i turned 16 i got a job n since den i never asked my parents fo ne thing... all my clothes since then i paid fo, da bills i hav i paid fo, lil things i want i paid fo... n wen i didnt hav a car to get to work i rode da bus... i jus feel so frustrated dat my sibling get acknowledge da way they do but they dont respect them... i can say wid a honest heart dat i never ever talked bak to my parents cz i hav so much respect fo dem...but look how i get treated by them...
my siblings they dont really appreciate tha things i do fo them...they jus take n take from me... i cant really say ne thing cz then my parents think im bein selfish... im tired of bein da good daughter, good sister, good person cz bein fuckin good n nice doesnt take me ne wer... i jus get take fo granted... but i cant find myself bein mean to ne one... so honestly i really dont kno wat to do ne mo... jus makes me sad... im not suprised y im isolatin myself from eveyone cz im jus really tired of bein treated like nuttin... | | |
| 17 days till xmas, omg i cant believe it... da yr is yet agen ova...im half way done wid my xmas shoppin... skewl is ova next week... dats good n ders winter break to look forward to... i really dont know wat my plans r fo winter break i guess jus work n jus save money...
as far as wat i want fo xmas... i honestly dont really know... i mean material things... i can always get that myself...ders things thats been goin on wid me that i really cant say... jus makes me really sad... wat i want fo xmas is priceless...
i thot i was really into tha holiday spirit... i mean i want to b but like u kno one of those things when u pretend to b happy in front of everyone else but fo reals ur really sad... welps dats me... im tryin to get the holiday spirit sike me up but really jus makes me more sad... things r jus not tha way they use to b... n im not very good wid changes... i mean changes can b good at times... its jus i dunno...i hope something great will happen this holiday...something dat can cheer me up... | | |
| so here i am agen, as always i dont really update my xanga n by da time i do mad stuff already happened n i really cant talk about em cz its to much... welps thanxgivin jus passed jus spent it wid the family...
this thanxgivin wat im thankful is everything i hav now, i went to church dat day, n da priest sed something dat made me think... "be thankful for what you have, dont dwell on wat you dont hav" so yea made sense...
i stared my xmas shoppin im half way done n half way broke as well ahahahah, oh i got a lap top durin the sale, my parent stood in line fo me cz i had work n couldnt make the early bird sale but yea i paid fo it its only $500 dats purty cheap fo a laptop must admit...
ne hows ders things dat r happenin in my life dat i really dont like, and its really pissin me off, but slowly im learnin not to stress bout it too much nor care bout it to much cz honestly im carin too much dat its hurtin me...so im learnin to distant myself from things fo my own good... | | |
| welps a week has past... n omg a lot has happen to me since the last time i wrote in this thing even tho its only a week i think... ne wais last friday i started workin agen at walmart i had my orientation that day n i've been workin ever since... im still not officially workin at tha vision center at walmart coz its still gettin fix... gonna open on october 1st... so rite now rina n i r jus at layaway waitin fo peeps to pick up der glasses n contacts.... yea i mean rite now its purty chill coz not doin much n gettin paid fo it... ders jus some occationally bitches out der... btw... durin my orientation rite theres this guy dat got hired to work at walmart as well that use to stalk me n rina... i was kindda freaked out... i mean dis guy like kept callin the vision center lookin fo me n rina all da time, gave rina a gift scorpion like wat tha heck... but yea... its weird coz his always around... i dont like havin him around all da time... me n rina wonder if he go t a job der coz of not... i hope not dats way to scary... we see him often coz he works at da back stock n rite now me n rina r in layaway at tha back as well... but hopefully once the vision center is done we wont see a lot of him...
besides work... skewl has been mad sad... todai i got home really sad because this week i took my first microbio test n i really studied hard but i think i mite hav to study a lot harder next time... coz i failed that shiet... n now i got a F... i mean shiet u kno..... i was really bum... i mean hopefully i can bring up my grade... it is tha first test but i dunno... i called ray, to see if he can cheer me up... he always seem to find tha rite words to make me feel betta... dats wat i love about him... i miss him a lot... i jus wanted him to b next to me n giv him a hug... durin dis times i wish he was really closer by... even tho his only i phone call away its always nice to have him around... his such a great guy n i love him so much... so yea he told me not to worry about it coz he sed ders other test n i can jus do well on em nice time n now i kno how he test so i can study better... plus he sed college is mad hard n dats no joke so i shouldnt kill myself fo it... but honestly i was mad bum... so i thought i would cheer myself up besides callin ray so i got my self a pad thai... shiet mad things worst coz its tha worst pad thai ive eva had... i mean how come they dont make pad thais that way ny makes pad thai... i was really disappointed... was jus havin a bummy day over all... but like i sed i hav ray to thank fo... fo somewat makin me feel better. *mUah* love u beb
oh yea i got a new wallet finally... my broken one was really botherin me n i really want a new one so i got one at ross ahahaha.... aye i was lucky its a blk xoxo wallet fo like 8 bucks... not bad rite... i like it... its kyoote n simple... so im content.... im really stressed rite now coz i got so much to do so lil time... i got to study fo psychiology got a test on monday... n i want to study really really hard coz i dont want to get another bad grade... i got a speech to prepare fo with visual aids n everything, i got a lab write up n music hw as well all due on monday... on top of that i got to work 24 hrs dis weekend... OMG... i dunno wat imma do im really scared...  hopefully i can manage dis weekend... jus wish me all good luck...
ne hows i think imma nap fo now im kindda beat... so lata | | |
| so todai me n art went to lunch... he took me to dis one place at RB called pearl its like da same thing as jasmine at clairemont... it was really thoughtful dat art took me to lunch... welps he does it occationally coz his koo like that... but dat place is kindda doughy $$$ so i dont like it but i dunno art likes it der... ne wais yea we jus talked bout stuff, catched up on things coz havent really seen or talk to him fo awhile... we wer talkin about walmart ahahah n how both of us work der haahah....
mOOd: 
so rite now im really confuse bout my future ahahha... yea yea i kno my future...welps rite now im really debatin wat skewl im goin to tranfer to coz by dis spring im already done wid all my prereq n my g.e so basically its time to tranfer... i already applied to UNLV n STONY... n still debatin on applyin at TEMPLE n NORTHWESTERN.... i wanna go to stony cz i kno peeps der plus ray is gonna b around... but at da same time by da time i tranfer his already into his senior yr n gonna head to med skewl da next yr... so i dunno wer his gonna b at... dont want to b alone in ny.... as far as temple n northwestern der both in philly n circumtances r like i guess once i get accepted to either skewl they will pay fo my skewlin n i jus got work fo em fo like 2 yrs so im like workin of my tuition n stuff... sounds purty good rite but den agen dat means i have to stay wid my dad's relatives n like i dunno theyre kindda old fashioned n strict n like if imma go off to college away from home i should at least b able to enjoy it n not b limited jus coz of an adult u kno... i mean i can always dorm but i dunno i feel dat imma b really lonely n sad if i do dat.... n ders UNLV... dats really an option mira is already der... but den agen shes da only one der dat i kno so if i come into trouble jus in case i dunno who else to turn too... so rite now im very indecisive as far as wat imma do as far as skewl goes... i mean i wont hav to worry bout it till really next summer... i guess i should jus apply to as many skewls as i can n jus find out which one accepts me... i mean in da end its really my decision to make which skewl i should go to coz its my future n regardless of loans n everything imma b da one whos gonna end up payin fo it ne waies... wateva makes me happy rite... so i dont really kno rite now...
honestly i hate not knowin things... like i always had this thing dat i kno wat i want... but lately things has been challengin those things... n jus makes things so complicated n confusing or am i jus makin em like that.... i really dont know...
like this thing im havin i dunno if u read my xanga... i doubt but oh well... if u do happen to read dis den u kno who u r... n u kno dat im talkin bout u.... its one of those things dat i try to make something work... n like at da end it jus punches me back in tha face... i dunno y i always seem to push myself into u... coz in da end it doesnt take me ne wer... u jus seem to always play wid my head... i dont really kno wat ur thinkin or feelin... u always jus leave me hangin n guessin... it makes me sad cz like i try my best to b der fo u... but like u jus shut me out... u go online n jus always go on away.... n like seriously i feel like ur really avoidin me coz wen i do get a chance to talk to u ur jus like "YA" its hello how bout a "hI"... always tryin to avoid questions i want answered... its like yo im bein up front wid u n being real n shiet y wont u do da same...rite now mo dan eva im confuse as far as how we r as phrens... i dont eben kno if we r phrens ... do u treat all ur phrens da way u treat me??? i was special to u once or our memories together mite hav been special den DAMN u kno...at least b real wid me n tell me wassup... not jus leavin me hangin like a rag doll... but den agen "FUCK IT" rite y would i eben worry bout this shiet coz u sure dont give a fuck either... so i should jus leave it like dat... n its done n over it... n dats dat rite... watevers.... i hate wen dis shiet happens to me... i put myself out der fo u n dis is wat i get in return avoidance.... ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! i seriously dont know... i dont even kno y im lettin dis bug me a lot... maybe coz u do in some way or another mean a lot to me mo dan u think... but wat.... its not like u give a shiet rite...plus i shoulda known dis is comin... maybe i did... i jus didnt want to believe it was tru....
*sigh*  i really hate feelin like dis .... but i honestly cant help it...but i guess i jus need time fo myself to figure thing out... wat i want n stuff...
ne hows i need to clean my car coz poor thing is mad dirty jus havent found da time to wash it... i need to vacumn it as well... coz my trunk is mad sandy from da times we went to da beach n i got left ova sand haahhaah.... mad water bottles from my aerobic class... i need to keep hydrated na mean... besides dat i also need to clean my room ahahahah... i actually want to change my room... rearrange things... i think i need a change... my room has look da same since my senior yr... n yea a change in atmosphere will be really good fo me... i should stop lookin back at my past n jus walk into my future rite... yea... i need boxes tho coz i need to box a lot of stuff n jus put it at tha garage i hav too much memories in my room dat i need to put away rite now... i mean i can always look back on em if i want to... but i need to make room fo new things u kno so yea... oh yea speakin of new things i really need a new wallet haahhaa my wallet broke yea it wont close... wallets r mad expensive tho... gosh darnet... i guess imma have to wait till my first pay check to buy a new one ahahhahah.... but yea ne suggestion wer i can get a cheap n kyoote wallet? | | |
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